If you know me, then you would know that everytime I go out, I get hit on. It's no surprise. I'm not that bad looking of a guy and sometimes I can be a bit more charming than usual (conceited, I know). I've been complimented on my style on numerous occasions, so really, I'm no stranger to being picked up on. Now you may, at this point, say one of two things (depending on what you're rocking under your pants): "Dude, you're so lucky and I want to punch you in the face" or "Ugh, get over yourself d-bag". That's all fine and dandy, but lemme finish what I was going to say. I get hit on yes. But the question is, WHOM do I get hit on by? The answer? Men. I get hit on all the time by men.
Oh, I can hear you giggling and snickering at this point, but it's true. Here's the disclaimer: I'm straight. Personally, I really don't mind it. It's a compliment. Call me an attention whore, that's fine. I like the attention. It's funny to see a man try to spit game at me. I'm not gonna argue with anybody who thinks I'm good looking (or better yet wants to take me home with them). It's all fun and games and it's even more fun if you get a free drink out of it (what a prostitute I am).
I've always tried to figure out why guys hit on me all the time. No matter where I'm at or what time of the day it is, a guy always finds the time to hit me up. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but seriously, it's mostly when I go out on the weekends or to shows or whatever. I think to myself "Shit, do I dress like half a gay or something?" I ask everybody I know, and the only answer they can say is "You dress a little bit better than the average normal guy". Well, it's good to know it's not because I'm rocking ripped denim daisy dukes and a half cut sleeveless shirt. What is it then? What is it that draws men to me, or makes them think it's okay to come and hit on me? Is it my mannerisms? Do I ooze homosexuality in my body language? Whaddaya say friends? "No, I don't notice anything." Well what the hell is it? One person said "Guys have no shame". Then it got me thinking...
It's true. When you go out, who is it that always makes the first move? The guy (it doesn't help that he's got some liquid courage in him either). So, that answers PART of that. So I guess the new remodified question is: Why gay guys and not girls? I kept asking myself this question and finally, I found my answer. All I had to do was look at who I was hanging out with all the time when I go out: girls. 90% of my company consists of the opposite sex. Now, I'm not trying to be all into myself here and saying "Oh yeah man, I got a harem behind me everywhere I go". No, it just so happens that most of my best friends are women (this will probably be another topic for another time). So here's a three part answer that I came up with for my own dilemma. When girls see me hanging out with a group of women, they won't feel compelled to come and talk to me because...
- Girls might automatically assume that I'm currently dating one of the ladies in my social circle, so they write me off as untouchable.
- Girls naturally don't like other girls (especially at places like a bar, show, theater, bathroom etc.). So it would be completely awkward for a girl to walk into a middle of a group of women to talk to the male, because as we all know, the rest of the women in the group would sit there and sneer and pass judgement as quick as a fart. So no girl wants to put themselves through that bull. And...
- The only guys who can successfully pull off a multiple friendship with other women are, *ahem* gay guys. So, in a girl's eyes, I MUST be gay if I'm hanging out with all these females.
- Or they're actually just not that into me.
So, that is the realization that I've come to. I am meat in some men's eyes and I am meat-for-men in some women's eyes. Now...all this talk applies to people actually physically seeing me. Because the other day I was working and a man calls in. By the end of the call I ask "So, is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Bob Customer?", the guy says, "No, but Anthony, can I just say you have the sexiest voice..." WHAT THE HELL DO I SAY TO THAT? Even when gays can't see me they sense the gayness! Gahhh, it's alright. You'd probably say that too if you heard me on the phone. But to prove that both sexes agree, I once had a call where a woman said I sounded very cute and wanted to come see me. So...that right there cancels out the theory of me being attractive to men only (regardless if they can see me or not).
So what do I do? Nothing. No harm no foul right? Who cares if women don't come up to me at a bar. If you're too scared because I look too interesting, then I don't wanna talk to you anyway. At this point, I don't care who comes up to me. Just buy me a drink next time and I'll be your friend, sans the blow J.